cause I'M ENGAGED! woot.

my ring is gorgeous, and my fiancee is perfect.

... and i think its a good one.

first, let me say that i make really nasty coffee sometimes. at home- its great. at school- i never seem to get it right. its always too watered down or too strong. tonight i made some that was way too strong. i was determined to drink it so as not to waste any, but i could only drink half the cup. so much for that!

i'm feeling a revival in my heart, and i love it. over break, i confessed to andrew and ben that i couldn't even remember the last time i read my Bible... i knew i hadn't read it at all that week, and maybe not even the week before? i knew it was bad and i knew i needed to get back into the word. why is it so easy to stop, and so hard to start back?

so, as cheesy at is sounds, i picked up the sunday school book from my church. normally its pretty basic and somewhat lame, but i needed some kind of guide to get me going again. as expected, the first couple of lessons weren't amazing, but at least they forced me to open my Bible and got me thinking a little.

but this week- so different. the lessons are based on james macdonald's book "downpour" and they have been wonderful. they have cut right to the heart of my problem. i feel like i'm being revived, renewed, brought back to the place i've been desperately missing. thank you Jesus for never giving up on me, and thank you to those who have been praying for me. i'm certainly a work in progress.


(biblegateway is so handy sometimes)

Psalm 86

Great Is Your Steadfast Love

(A) A Prayer of David.

1(B) Incline your ear, O LORD, and answer me,
for I am(C) poor and needy.
2Preserve my life, for I am(D) godly;
save your servant, who(E) trusts in you—you are my God.
3(F) Be gracious to me, O Lord,
for to you do I cry all the day.
4Gladden the soul of your servant,
for(G) to you, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
5For you, O Lord, are good and(H) forgiving,
(I) abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you.
6(J) Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer;
listen to my plea for grace.
7In(K) the day of my trouble I call upon you,
(L) for you answer me.
8There is(M) none like you among the gods, O Lord,
(N) nor are there any works like yours.
9(O) All the nations you have made shall come
and worship before you, O Lord,
and shall glorify your name.
10For(P) you are great and(Q) do wondrous things;
(R) you alone are God.
11(S) Teach me your way, O LORD,
that I may(T) walk in your truth;
(U) unite my heart to fear your name.
12I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart,
and I will glorify your name forever.
13(V) For great is your steadfast love toward me;
you have(W) delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.

14O God, insolent men have(X) risen up against me;
a band of ruthless men seeks my life,
and they do not set you before them.
15But you, O Lord, are a God(Y) merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.
16(Z) Turn to me and be gracious to me;
give your strength to(AA) your servant,
and save the son of your maidservant.
17(AB) Show me a sign of your(AC) favor,
that those who hate me may see and be put to shame
because you, LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

i'm so angry right now... i wish i could stomp up and down like a three year old throwing a fit. it's the devil. him and his stupid, haunting lies. making beautiful, redeemed, children of God feel like crap- like they don't measure up. i just had a conversation with a girlfriend who's struggling with this, and i just hate it.

in other not-so-angry news: i've been drinking water like a fish today. i guess my body is experiencing shortage?

sociology of suicide test on tuesday. my brain hurts. i hate that class so much! i just don't understand the reasoning behind making students memorize fact sheets. will memorizing facts and spitting them out on paper pay my bills? mmm, probably not. sometimes i think college is such a waste. a waste that i'm almost done with, i might add. praise the Lord.

i want to start blogging again. it was fun. a therapy of sorts.
the question is, will i be able to figure out this crazy, new (new as in different from when i first started) setup?

  

back in my teen mania days, i used to read the xanga's of people "further up" in the internship who were allowed to date/court/pursue a relationships/whatever and it used to frustrate the mess out of me.

"i'm glad to see your so happy... but what about us single folk who aren't even supposed to think about relationships?? hmmm? thanks for rubbing it in!"

i remember thinking that i would never do such a thing... yet at the same time it would be so fun to be the one reveling in the glory of having a perfectly wonderful man in her life.

so here it is. six months overdue.

 

 

i actually just found that one up there... i forgot alyssa took it.

 

we don't get alot of snow 'round these parts ; )